I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
