Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
