I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
