The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
