also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
