Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
