He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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