He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize