so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
