Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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