I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You just made me feel so damn special
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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