Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
