She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
