dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Found the puke drawer
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
