There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
