Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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