i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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