I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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