So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize