i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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