we're blogging at a bar
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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