As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
