He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
