Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
