For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
