why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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