he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It's just like the Real World with babies
i came on her dog
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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