Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
