So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I think I just sharted jello shots
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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