apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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