So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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