and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
