He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
