So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
