did you get engaged???
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
