I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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