There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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