he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Someone signed my nipple.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
