We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
