I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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