Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
