Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
