she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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