can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
