they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
