If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
