Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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