Sry I called you an 8
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sorry about my life...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
