Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
