if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
