Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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