i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
