Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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