I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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