it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
