Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
