I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
