I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize