dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
