i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
