Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
