So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
