ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do vagina's smell?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
