Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
