his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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