half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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