Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize