Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
